#instructive {insight} for every kind of relationship

How to tell your partner what you like in bed

Sex Education
Sex Education / Netflix

Things start heating up for new couple Otis and Ola in episode 2. Worrying about how he’s going to perform, Otis looks up “how to finger” on the {internet}. This leads him to a rather worrying technique called “The Clock.”

After giving it a try, and thinking Ola was into it, Otis brags to Eric about his newfound title of sex god. But later on, Lily has revealed to him she was in fact in pain most of the time, and his rough jabbing method didn’t do much for her at all. 

By the end of the episode, Otis admits to Ola he has no idea what he’s doing, he’s “really bad at fingering,” and they never have to do it again. She appreciates his honesty and tells him: “Or, I could show you what I like.”

“Being open and honest about what you want and what you like is key to having a healthy, long-lasting relationship,” sex and relationship expert Rebecca Lockwood told Insider. “This goes further than the bedroom, it filters into everything we do within our {relationships}.”

She said a starting point for the conversation can be asking what you partner wants and likes, which “gives you an {understanding} of what you can do to allow them to feel loved, wanted and heard.”

Counsellor Deshara Pariag, from Counselling Directory, told Insider you should sit with your partner in an environment with no distractions, and explain how you feel.

“Trust your partner, and note some points you would like to address,” she said. “You may be pleasantly surprised by their response. Communication and uncomfortable conversations are normal in a relationship to help you both grow together.”

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